it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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