A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
