i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
