That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When are your genitals available?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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