I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
