I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize
