What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize