I'm eating all of the evidence.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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