i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
