Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
