i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
