come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
