Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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