she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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