Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
