well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
