At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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