yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
