At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize