I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
