Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
