So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
