I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
When did angry sex become our thing?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
