I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize