did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
