lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
did i just pee glitter
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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