hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
did i just pee glitter
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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