He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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birth control should be required to get into college
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
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So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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