I think I died a long time ago.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
