Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
