I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
