Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
