So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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