margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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