Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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