i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
NoShamevember. You game?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
