Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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