who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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