Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize