I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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