I puked a lego.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
