im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
