I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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