I think i peed on brittanys purse
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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