did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so let's talk penis.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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