i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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