my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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