Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
