i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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