I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
