So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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