how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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