I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
