Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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