shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
