someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
