Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
