forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
