Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Send help, water and tortillas.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You don't make any sense
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