We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
