kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
