oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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